2020 Goes To Bed

 A Year to Forget.....

- 3 eye surgeries (one more to come); extended prone position, can't fly, distorted vision 

- Mom developing brain cancer, hospice and passing

- etc. etc.

Parting Gift of the Year....

Woke up with a huge zit. I'd never been told it was possible at my age. So, I'm assuming my birth certificate lied. 😎

Hope .... the word I chose for 2020.

"Roots anchor trees. 

Hope anchors the soul"

May Hope manifest for all of you in 2021! 

Plausible Excuses

"Blame Everyone Else" Movement

(It's so much fun - you should try it!)


1) I have inherited "Hoarding Genes"

2) With prolonged loss of civil liberties and vision issues, I have switched to automatic pilot 

You see the results and it is not my fault

For future reference -- At first there was only the cheap, sandpaper type available and that will reside in the guest bathroom

[Side Note: I am facing 2 more eye surgeries, beginning next week, so I will be on hiatus]

A Couple Things

To Be Absolutely Truthful...
My ancestors chose the wrong side during the revolutionary war & fled to Canada. However, they saw the error of their ways and migrated back to New York.

Updating The Bird Battle...
I finally found the solution to keep the winged creatures from feasting on my plants. However, they are retaliating by leaving excrement all over my patio chairs. The skirmish continues.

My Yearly Independence Day Share...
Please, please, this is not a political statement - Just a beautiful updated version I just found which I hope you enjoy.

“Let Us Live To Make Men Free”

Hummingbird Saga Continues

Waiting for those "fascinating little birds with their long beaks and fast-moving wings which can be seen darting round nectar feeders and flowers" to show up....

I notice my succulents, which have been bountifully reproducing, are under attack. With the dedication of Columbus, I discover small black birds have turned the hummingbird feeder into a private perch, and, they are responsible for my plant carnage. 

           

The War Is On
1) Apply Raid House & Garden, discover the enemy can't read, or chooses not to read the label
2) It acts as an attractant as all the bird relatives join and feast on
3) Time for a Google Search: "Natural Bird Repellents" 
4) Choose the Cayenne Pepper one & follow the directions to the best of my ability (with continued limited eye sight)
5) Discover in the dilution process .... well, let's just say I've found another use for face masks.
6) Sprayer doesn't seem to work. 
7) Analyzing the situation, discover spice not fully dissolved, spill the contents, inhale into my throat & lungs, begin spasmistic coughing to such an extent the neighborhood watch descends in a horde to mask shame me (I have vowed to not wear a mask in public)

War Continues
1) Finally get plants sprayed
2) Discover southern birds cut their teeth on spice, cayenne is considered just a condiment.
3) As a way of thanking me, they are emboldened. I can't scare them off by knocking on the window. I have to get an umbrella and bravely shoo them away
4) This just makes them laugh at their inferior hominids

Secret Weapon
1) I am from Revolutionary and Pioneer stock
2) We "Never Surrender, Never Give Up"
3) Google search here I come

Stay Tuned For Future Updates & May You Have Adventures Of Your Own!

Sisterly Support

When You Have Writers Block....

..... You put out the SOS. This week I am sharing from my sisters. 

Sister #1
In response to my previous post, she texts: "I guess Vaseline Calm Healing wasn't so calm at the end of its life 😀"

Sister #2...
.... signed up to have locally grown produce delivered every week. First week consists of a bag of leaves - lettuce, cabbage, spinach, chard, radishes, garlic and strawberries.

Me: Very Healthy

Sister: Only if you eat it. We're calling it "The Tyranny of the Vegetables."


Y'all (from my St. Louis living days) Enjoy your sisters -  blood related or home grown.

Pet Peeve #1

Lids That Don't Screw Off....

When a container of product is almost gone, & you can't get the lid off, & you see more at the bottom, & it's driving you crazy, because, being a child of depression era parents, "waste not, want not," is deeply ingrained; & you would rather waste half a day trying to get to the bottom and liberate the handcream, shampoo, etc. What to do? 

Solution: Try every tool you can muster up to get that lid off (being careful not to swear in front of the children). Hint: go straight to the saw. 

Caution: Be prepared for resultant injuries - especially if you are visually impaired. (First aide paraphernalia has become standard issue when I leave the house).

And, then you have the problem of what to do next, which as you can see, I solved by cleverly enlisting a disposable cup. 

May you find satisfactory resolutions to all of your pet peeves this weekend. 

A Little Nugget

Fear and Faith...

..... are the same. They are both expectations for the future. Fear expects the outcome to be bad. Faith expects the outcome to be for the good (JP Jackson).




May you see good expectations fulfilled this weekend...

.... Even if it's just a new leaf on your plant (with thanks to my sister and niece for my house warming gift).

Hummingbird Saga

In the interest of surrounding myself with more nature, I decide to add hummingbirds to my mix of succulents that have been prolificating. Having found a feeder that doubles as a solar light at night, I purchase a pack of food written in Spanish (being price conscious). Not able to read directions, I guess at the dilution ratio.

Having followed the simple instructions, and not able to find the switch to activate the solar light, I proceeded to fill the feeder and take it outside to hang. With my visual perception impaired, trying to hang it up, I miss and drop the feeder, whereupon it falls apart. Able now to find the hidden switch, red sugar fluid flows over my patio. I mend the feeder as I have super glue in stock due to previous disasters.

Now, with my patio hosed down, fluid in the feeder, I proceed, very carefully to hang it up; where upon, it leaks and the handle comes apart spilling the liquid again. Being from pioneer stock, I do not give up.

All issues resolved, I sit back to watch hummingbirds come, but bigger birds land on it. Still, I do not give up. Before continuing my bird watching vigil, I go to the refrigerator and get sport drink (which I dilute with water) and grab the hummingbird mix instead. Let it be noted, my preference for a sugar high is gelato.

The beauty of Picasso vision is that when a leaf falls or a little breeze moves the feeder, I "see" hummingbirds. All is well with the world.

[This just in -- I am on my patio writing & a real, honest to goodness humming bird just filled up at my feeder! I give thanks to the Creator of all!]

Weekly Tip #5

The Benefits Of Nature: Being exposed to nature, inside or out, as well as viewing nature, will reduce anger, fear, and stress, while increasing pleasant feelings. That is to say, your emotional and physical wellbeing improves, blood pressure lowers, muscles loose tension and fewer stress hormones are produced.  

A Difficult Day.....My Internal Struggle: I've been able to turn my experiences into humorous posts and I intended to share a great story about trying to attract hummingbirds with my visual disability and physical limitations.

But today, I just cannot seem to find much humor. So, I will leave you with a little Hope (my word for the year) and then share some thoughts that will offend many. Fortunately, the many do not know of my existence. 

A dragonfly carries silver dust upon its wings to soften our hearts when hope fades.

It reminds us to love,

Prompts us to forgive,

Inspires us to grow,

And restores joy to our souls. 

Now, I know the dragonfly, rainbow, owl, butterfly, lily, oak tree, etc. etc. have "bad" connotations for different groups of people. I am going to enjoy whatever I want to in nature that God, Yah, The Most High, Supreme Being, etc. created for us to enjoy. 

I will use whatever color I want. When I hear that an on-line knitting group is being torn apart because somebody knitted green socks, it's not humorous. Tolerance has become "I will only tolerate you if you, not only believe, but say I am right." I did find one conversation where people of all different views actually started listening to each other without shutting down their minds. [Disclaimer: I am not promoting the host or any one individual]

Relevant to this weeks occurrences, I will not bow down to anybody; I stake my life on it. I will not feel guilty for something that I didn't do. I have done enough things that have caused true guilt. We are individuals who make individual decisions. When we devolve to judging collectively other collections of people.... well, you see the results. This does not shut down listening to someone who has a grievance, as long as there is open mindedness and willingness to change ones opinion. 

....Hope returns as I finally have a hair appointment today (after eye surgery I could not bend backwards and then the virus thing). And, I will share my humming bird story. Apparently the birds have visual problems also as big birds are landing on my hummingbird feeder. 

Sidebar

I do not, as a rule, consume (so called) news; and thus, I did not know about the cultural war raging around us until my good friend text me that our state was on a mandated curfew.

My family lived through the 60's burning of Detroit. Very vivid in my mind is my mother, close to hysteria, telling the four of us to get on our knees and start praying, as we watched people being trucked in while smoke and flames approached closer to our suburban home. Yesterday I experienced a little bad deja vu.

I have friends from across all spectrums with disparate points of view: religious, political, social, economic, conspiratorial. From the depths of my heart I cry out for all of us- -and as simplistic as it sounds - Love is the answer. "Love Will Keep Us Together."

A Little Alert: I'm about to pontificate and you will most likely want to move on with your life.

People who are aware of and study cultural dynamics prayed we could maintain our humanity and not devlove.

I have a rather unique perspective. I started a PhD program (in marriage and family therapy), about twenty years ago when I turned 50 (and had been out of academia for 20 years).

Social Constructionism (post-modernism) was the overwhelming flavor of the epoch. First, let me say, the beauty of this philosophical position is in acknowledging that we all use words without common meaning. Thus, a major goal is to help people come to a shared understanding through "talk therapy."

However, as with all philosophical orientations taken to extremes.... well you are seeing the results. I seriously delved into post modernism, instinctively knowing this would lead to violence & I asked, "What is post post-modernism?" and was greeted with blank stares.

I remember asking, "What about abuse?" And of course there is no good answer because abuse is always wrong.  When we give credence to tolerating whatever anybody says as morally acceptable, we lose respect and tolerance for the individual.

Left with no way to say abuse is always wrong, we see that social constructionism has swallowed itself in post-modern thought. Throughout the course of history, change comes with destruction. May our future quickly evolve into dialogue and communication with deep respect for each individual member of humanity.

[And now for my dose of gelato. Please join me in your favorite comfort food.]

Weekly Tip #4

Find Something That Makes You Laugh

Laughter: Relaxes your whole body / boosts your immune system / releases natural feel-good chemicals / protects the heart / burns calories / helps you live longer

To get you started on your journey towards better health, this had me laughing so hard the neighbors came running, checking to see if I was OK (apparently I don’t laugh in a normal type manner).

Weekly Tip #3

Stock Up On Cloth Rags.....

..... With no paper towels, toilet paper, kleenex, cloth rags are now also out of stock.  

Tip: Cut up old t-shirts. Use the backs as rags; fronts are used for t-shirt quilts and pillows.

Don't Forget: With distorted vision, you will have plenty of messes to clean up.

Examples:
- Missing the target while pouring liquids, hot and cold, into glasses, coffee cups, etc 
- Overshooting plants while watering (mine are secretly laughing at me, which is a good thing as laughter is proven to combat boring and difficult situations) 
- Hitting the counter (instead of sink) while brushing teeth
- Missing the mouth while eating
- Knocking over all manner of food items as you misjudge placement
- Scissors become implements of great danger
- Recommend 1 pot cooking (if you absolutely can't resist preparing food)

To Simplify: Pretend you have a toddler in the house - only it's you in your adult body (hint: bigger messes)

Weekly Tip #2

Read All Product Labels Carefully....

..... Limited vision, though it takes more effort and time, does not excuse a person. 

Practical Example:  You might find your morning walk is delayed because you mistakenly bought and used body wash and applied as body lotion, albeit still lavender, and had to jump (slowly) back into the shower to wash off and then apply the correct product. 

Weekly Tip....

...How To Become A Super Klutz

.... In Just A Few Easy Steps

- Start with losing most of your vision in one eye (I should get some improvement after gas bubble is surgically removed - so far, retina is staying in place!) but have to cancel trip back to Michigan this summer 

-Most Importantly, you actually have to start with being a klutz in the first place

- You also need a life-time of unreliable visual perception (even with good eyes) & lack of body awareness in space (verifiable by PT - she could usually contain her laughter & amazement)


The Advantages:
 - You get to hit the wall of the garage when you pull in (previous owners stapled up a piece of carpet)  

- You hear all varieties of horn honking as you check way more times than is really necessary before making a turn.

- You get to hone your apologetic skills as you run into multiple people - especially those on your left (this would be while walking - especially while shopping - the neighbors are used to it and cross the street to get out of the way).  

- If bored, you can see people & images extremely convoluted.

- People think you are winking at them as you have to close one eye to clearly see anything or anybody (this became an issue when a nice gentleman dropped off the monthly newsletter & ... well I'll let you guess the rest).

- You have to actually slow down in every area of your life, thus rising anxiety, thus leading to new and improved techniques to remain calm and peaceful.

- And lastly, having survived yet another Klutz episode (ex: somewhat traumatic grocery store run), you treat yourself. Today it is with one of those verboten items - Nutella. I did, however, buy the smaller container even though the large one was on sale.

May you be kind to all the Klutz's in your life.

Built-in Picasso

This is pretty much what my left eye is seeing (except out of focus and the color hues different than my right eye 😎)

Waiting for the dissipation of social distancing and a visit to the art museum. I am expecting the painting to look normal. 

And I'm wondering what condition Pablo's eyes were in.

A Hat Of A Different Color

Well (deep sigh), here I am again- having to get back strength and endurance. 

I switch from my winter to my summer hat and I am off in the AZ sun and warmth, 

building up my walking distance, yet again.  

And with the exercise rooms closed, I dig out my Jane Fonda exercise vids. 

My Country Line Dancing somehow didn't make the move. It's more fun!

A Little Role Reversal

.... well, actually more than one. But I am concentrating on one - and this is a good one.

I love calendars, I have them throughout my house, even in my laundry room. 

I love each new month when I get a new page. 

I have decided we will reverse what is typically associated with this day.

It will be a day of blessing, peace, joy, hope......

This is the inspirational umbrella enveloping my family and friends as: I have had to have a second eye surgery facing unknown visual consequences, cousins in NYC with virus, 94 year old mother fell and broke shoulder & I cannot get there to help, all the situational, physical and economic upheaval.... Still, I am blessed to be surrounded by a cloud of those with faith - faith, not in mankind, but in that which assures eternal blessings, peace, joy, hope.... We pray for all of you too and hope you will join in our surrounding umbrella of prayers. 

Everyone should have a.......

......really nice cousin - one who comes to visit & help with adaption to vision losses (since she is a vision expert). 

And as a bonus, I now have an adult beverage maker - coffee for her, chai latte's for me (it has a frother!) Soon I will be an official adult coffee drinker - well, maybe 😎

Week In Review

  Eye bubble deflated, leaving floating black spots which I swatted at until friend told me they were eye floaters 😎. Distorted vision continues (dr says normal, can last up to 2 months & more). Can't fly or go above 2000 feet (fortunately I live in the valley). Walking not the safest due to keeping left eye closed leading to distortions and balance issues. 
Started receiving multiple angry phone calls from around the word; finally figuring out that somebody started an online store & used my phone number; waiting for proprietor to discover and change took six days; leading to cursing Alexander Graham📞
Despite working with one eye closed, managed to format and edit two volumes for my friends at Sacred Word Publishing. 
Said, "Farewell, my faithful friend, Rosie" who passed at age 14, being diabetic for 4 years, with my friend who gracious adopted my babies when I could no longer provide good care after my hip surgery 🐈

It is with baited breath I await this coming week's adventures! May you enjoy adventures of your own!

Year In Review....

.... ends with post op check (repair retina tear & insert gas bubble) 2 weeks ago developed blurry spot in the middle of left eye and surgery last week.

Per Dr. today: Excellent progress, bubble half gone (black line in the middle of my eye, focused above, blurry & bouncy underneath where bubble is) - assurance all is normal
No air travel or going above 2000 feet until bubble gone - will check in 5 weeks
Retina is repairing itself nicely and fluid is pushing the bubble out
May take months for retina to fully repair and vision closer to normal 
Watching my right eye which has a slight depression
Appears to be genetic / nothing can be done to prevent (however, I will get back eating better, keeping hydrated, exercising, yoga & breathing, keeping cool, calm, and collected - pretty much the roller coaster story of my life :)



Almost forgot the part where I had to lay face down with my head in a doughnut type pillow for 3 days. 

It's still quite awkward & balance challenging walking around closing my left eye. When my vision returns, will catch you up on the highlights of my last eventful year which ended up with me moving to Arizona 😎😎😎